Eh...'Cum' Again?

A real quote from the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, spoken by a cross-country skier from Norway who, it seems, was a little self-critical following a poor leg in one of the relays yesterday.

Again, this IS real.

My name is Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset. I skied the second lap and I f----- up today. I think I have seen too much porn in the last 14 days. I have the room next to Petter Northhug and every day there is noise in there. So I think that is the reason I f----- up. By the way, Tiger Woods is a really good man.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Hydrant

Tiger Woods has issued a second statement regarding his now infamous car crash last Thursday night/Friday morning. If you haven't heard about this by now, then you've probably been living under a rock for the past week. Woods, for reasons unknown, left his house at 2:30 a.m. or so last Thursday (Thanksgiving) night and then proceeded to crash into a fire hydrant and tree outside for his home, again for reasons unknown.

Woods is unimpressed with the scrutiny he’s been under since the crash – there’s been a mountain of speculation about affairs with at least two women. However, that does come with the territory of being the most famous and wealthiest athlete in the World. This is the first time that he has felt the full force of fame’s dark side, and now he’s not playing ball.

There’s a reason that the speculation won’t go away, and Woods has no one to blame but himself. Website statements don’t mean a damn – we want more. We want him in front of cameras, speaking about the events of the night and explaining what happened. We’ve seen this before – earlier this year, Alex Rodriguez sat down with Peter Gammons of ESPN shortly after it emerged that he was a drugs cheat. The interview showed a contrite A-Rod and this, coupled with a press conference, allowed the speculation to go away quicker than it would have had he hidden in a hole, a la Tiger. His silence gives gossip sites further licence to probe deeper into his private life. The facial lacerations that he has picked up in the crash, may or may not be due to domestic violence and we don’t know the truth because Tiger himself hasn’t interacted with the insatiable media. He can put that confrontation off for as long as he wants, but he has to return to golf at some stage.

Woods, literally, needs to show his face.

***

Here’s a video, presumably from a Chinese news broadcast, which shows (in animated form) what happened and what happened. Gas stuff.

Woods Breaks Wind!

Tiger Woods, it seemed, took the chance to relieve some tension during the final round of last weekend’s Buick Open. This video has cropped up on Youtube and it appears to show Eldrick, arguably the finest sportsman on the planet, farting. Yes, farting. Check it out.



Sounds fake, right? I thought so too, I won’t lie. Yet here’s another video, taken from a news broadcast the next day, which shows the same thing.



EDIT: It seems that our old friend David Feherty, CBS golf analyst, is to blame.

The Open Championship - Day 1

Just a quick update on the tips I gave you yesterday. Here's how my selections have gotten on after the first round at Turnberry.

Hunter Mahan @ 34
Mahan had a nightmare start today, playing the first 12 holes in +3. Despite a double bogey on the 15th, he fought back well near the end of his round. I can see him moving up the leaderboard tomorrow - but he has to.

Now available @ 170.


Graeme McDowell @ 85

McDowell shot an impressive 68 today, leaving him on -2. A victim of the tricky 16th, he could be even higher up the leaderboard but the Northerner knows this. Out at a tricky time weather-wise tomorrow though. Needs to be sharp.

Now available @ a very tasty 60.



Soren Hansen @ 140

Statistically my best tip interms of odds improvement, Hansen also shot a 68. It was a round that could have been better - he played the last six holes in three over par. Nonetheless, the Swede is a contender heading into the weekend.

Now available @ 80


David Duval @ 150

David Duval only hit 6/14 fairways, but he drove the ball long and his putting was fine. His +1 today shouldn't rule him out of contention at all, but like many others he needs a better Friday.

Now available @ 300.


Padraig Harrington @46

A 69 for the two-time defending champion, hence a shortening of his odds. But I didn't like what I saw from the Dubliner today. He seemed timid and lacking confidence. I shall be laying him immeadiately.

Now available @ 27.



A couple of other comments. I was very impressed with Ryo Ishikawa. The 17-year-old didn't flinch under the spotlight of being with Woods. He won't win this weekend, but he did well>

Woods didn't. He was shaky throughout and punters who backed him at such low odds must be regretting that now. He's now available at 6.6 on Betfair. I wouldn't, but there's a little bit of value there if he handles tomorrow's high winds.

Does anyone care about the Lyle/Monty spat? Didn't think so.

And I know I didn't tip them, but I'd just like to point out that the other golfers I named yesterday (O'Hair, Villegas and McIlroy) all had decent outings today. Let's hope they don't fall into the 'ones that got away' pile.

Open For Business

As I write this, the opening groups at the US Open have begun their rounds. The year’s second Major has always been a favourite of mine. The courses used in the US Open don’t have the beauty of Augusta, and there’s a lot more history in the Open but regardless of this, there’s something special about the US Open. To see golfers tested on an exceedingly difficult course, and to see them fail like us mere mortals is oddly satisfying, in a slightly sadistic way.

Perhaps because of this, the US Open has the feel of a people’s Major. The pomposity of the Masters is not present, nor the formality of the Open, and in a way this is most evident at this year’s venue, Bethpage Black. Seven years ago the 2002 US Open at the same venue was one of the first major international events to be help in New York State since 9/11. Tiger won, naturally, and he’ll be the favourite to do so again this weekend in a tournament that will be held in the background of a massive global recession.

Again this can be tied into Bethpage. It is a course that was built as a public project during the Great Depression of the 1930s and it’s also one of the most accessible Major venues. Over 30,000 rounds are played on the Black course annually and weekday green fees are a modest $50 for the local residents who’ll be out in force this weekend, over 250,000 of them.



Last year’s US Open was a memorable affair. A virtually one-legged Tiger won in the Monday playoff, beating off the genial Rocco Mediate while Lee Westwood was a nearly man who had a putt on the 72nd green to join the Americans on the Monday. Only in the aftermath of the tournament did we learn how hurt Woods actually was (he wouldn’t play again for over eight months due to the extent of the ligament damage to his left knee) and he himself has called it his favourite ever Major win. Along with the 1997 Masters, it was certainly his most impressive.

Phil Mickelson will be the darling of the crowds. His wife Amy is continuing her battle with breast cancer so while it would be unreasonable to expect too much from Lefty, it would be lovely to see him do well. Padraig Harrington may have won two Majors in the last twelve months but his recent slump in form shows no sign of abating – it would be rough weekend for Paddy. Rory McIlroy is being touted as the best Irish hope but in only his third Major it’s probably too soon. If there is to be a European winner, Paul Casey is probably most likely but anyone will do well to beat Tiger. No matter though, we’ll enjoy the next few days. After all, it is our Major.